Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Marketing in the office

Today one of my staff is selling parfume which she claim to be original.Gucci, Estee, J-Lo, CK and all... She is selling it at the price of RM150 for a bottle. But I can guarantee u dat is is the fake perfume that we can find at PS or pasar malam near our house... But people here in kerteh can easily be fooled. At the end of the day, that girl manage to actually sell 17 bottles of parfume! That easily accumulate to RM 2,550! And from that on, Ita and I had come up with a new idea:

ita... u kena make use your mktg knowledge
ita... tgk apa org sini suka
ita... localised kan...meaning kampungkan dia hehe
ita... then kita jual

Me... hehehe. I will use this weekend to survey things

ita... i'm going to PS balik ni
ita... i survey skali

Me... tapi kan, apa yang i notice org kat office kita nie, they like direct selling
Me... maybe becoz kat sini tak da shopping complex
Me... they tend to buy from catalog and all...
Me... so i rasa biz kita akan berjaya :-)
Me... nanti u survey okey dgn harga skali
Me... I survey make-up kat up-town

ita... slalu yg suka beli2 ni laki ke pompuan?

Me... pompuan la... tapi amazingly, lelaki pun beli
Me... they buy it for their wives
Me... but after a few persuasion
Me... but they still buy
Me...kat my dept nie ada 3 lelaki buy that perfume for their wife...
Me... i rasa wife diorang busuk :-)
Me... hahahaha
Me... kalau kain or tudung tak jalan la kat sini...
Me... sebab they can buy it cheaper here..
Me... so we have to sell KL stuff

ita... u think brooch or jewellery mcm style axcess tu leh jual tak?
ita... tapi ada ke jual kat ps or uptown?
ita... i nk tgk handbag org sini
ita... tgk style diorg suka
ita... then cari fake LV etc

Me... gud idea!
Me... they like accesories (mind my spelling) as well
Me... I rasa ada.. tapi kat shop lot area PS tu.. bukan kat pasar..
Me... tapi jgn yang fancy sgt..diorang pakai tudung...
Me... gelang, rantai, etc leh kot..and getah rambut
Me... next time kalau ada direct selling kat office, jgn la beli...
Me... unless if it is food.
Me... the rest is not worth it

ita... i think org sini have a lot of money to spend
ita... sbb takde shopping complexita...tu psl relax je bayar rm150 for measly fakes
ita... so kita jual rm50 pun ramai je yg beli
ita... ok i think we start with jewellery n make up dulu
ita... if biz is gud then handbag...

Me... exactly
Me... they are rich and stupid
Me... kita nie byk sgt expose to shopping complex, so we know the bargain :-)
Me... so we can sort-of take advantage on that :-)
Me... hehehe

ita... u nie kan...
ita... buat i nak gi shopping lak...
ita... tetiba boring tgk kertas2 ni...
ita... hehe
ita... but target market (cewah) kita pompuan
ita... laki takde?
ita... i mean man stuff

Me... hehe.. takkan nak jual undies kot ;-)
Me... men jarang la nak buy things for their own consumption
Me... diorang sempoi jer..unlike KL guy...
Me... but we can try
Me... kena survey benda yg interesting

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

it's 9th Nov

Birthday wishes from my dear friends

MB
Remember-remember the 9th of November!
Wish I can be there to say this?.
Happy Birthday awakJ
Hope you enjoy the day.
I love you??

MA
Dearest Liza, I'm wishing "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MAY GOD BLESS U N UR WISHES COMETRUE"

Fathima
Happy Birthday dear

Kanda
Happy Birthday & I strongly pray to god that u will forgive me... Semogatuhan memberkati hidup u

Kak Syikin
Juz want to say.. "Selamat Hari Lahir yang ke 21 (he!he!)

Suzanna
Happy Birthday, semoga panjang umur, dimurahkan rezeki

Noi
Mate, Happy 25th Birthday, wish u all da best

SA
Hepi sweet 25th birthday.....

Jay
Wish u a sweet happy 25th birthday?have a nice day

Syahrul
Happy Birthday. Moga Murah Rezeki dan berjaya dalam segalalapangan.

NH
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Shri
HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Iquan
Selamat Hari Jadi...Sekarang Ko dah Sama Baya ngan aku...baru lehgeng...heheheh

Sue
Happy Birthday sis!

Kak tina
Happy Birthday ja... Sorry lambat lambat wish, kak tina terlupa. Semogapanjang umur dan dimurahkan rezeki... Dan yang penting semoga cepat KAWIN

Ita
forgive me for forgetting.HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! :D *throw confetti*
i think i'll give u anti-wrinkle cream as present

Friday, October 28, 2005

balik kampung

It took me few days to think, rethink, consider, reconsider, decide, re-decide and finally decided on whether I should drive my car back to KL or not. The thing is, my car is a manual transmission car, and I’m sure you know what is the significant relation between hari raya, holiday and traffic jam!! After a few consultations with my family, MB, MA, and friends, I finally decided to ride with Ita. So yesterday, we left office at 2pm, illegally! Meaning- our bosses are unaware that we left office that soon…. Hehehe… we simply can’t wait for 4 o’clock :-)

I’ll be in KL for about 9 days to celebrate raya. So I have more then ample time to actually pay my visit to all shopping centre in KL and do my shopping till I drop...!! Eerrr… or to be precise, till where my money actually allows me :-)

My family and I will be celebrating raya in KL this year. This is after considering a few factors:

1) My grandmother had past away last year
2) My dad condition doesn’t actually allows his to move anywhere outside his house
3) I will have to go back to kerteh on 3rd Raya

Anyway, I would like to take this opportunity to wish everyone, Selamat Hari Raya. If you are driving back to your hometown, drive safe. And if you are sleepy, stop at any PETRONAS station to have your free coffee break ;-)

Opppsss.. and not forgetting, Happy Deepavali to those who are cebrating, and happy holiday to the rest. ENJOY!

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

TV

We are having majlis berbuka puasa today at my office. It is estimated that more than 1,500 people will be coming for this event which involves staff,family, and contractors. My department is very busy since morning in order to ensure this event is sucessful. But I am stuck infront of my PC trying hard to meet the deadline for budget submission. It is already 6.30 when I finally finish the whole thing. Ita called me saying that she had already reserved a seat for me. The event went well, the food was nice and I was tired. Got home at 8. I decided to pamper myself a little tonite since I don't have any other better things to do while waiting for desperate housewives to be aired. I did my body scrub, foot scrub, facial scrub, and all.... Nice!

I continue to watch a movie on HBO after the dsprt hsewives ends. ItalianJob. This not not my first time watching it, but who cares. One of thedialog at the beginning of the movie really hit me right into my heart. The sentence goes like this:

" find someone that you want to spend the rest of your life with and hold onto her/him forever"

that sentence is very simple and yet very meaningful. It is meaningful enuf to keep me awake until 2am just thinking about it!

Sunday, October 16, 2005

what's happenning?

Lori Ikan

The rest of the staff in my department is busy decorating our office forthe coming raya. I try to get my hands on making ketupat out of ribbon. Butit turns out to be a tikar instead hehe... At 4 o'clock, one of the officeboy informed us that there is a lorry skidded at kerteh and that had causeda traffic. So I decided to leave office at 5pm sharp. And fair enuf, I wascaught in the traffic. The car is moving and inch every minute, and I stillhave like another 14 KM to go! I reach the town at 6.30. Called up Ita andwe decided not to continue our journey back. Met her infront of McD.

McD

Syahril, nurul, ita, mazran, azizul and I break our fast at McD today. We decided to try the buffet promotion that McD is promoting. At first I don'tthink that it is worth it to pay RM18 since all your stomach can accept atMcD is a burger, fries, drink and the most one ice-cream or pie. Butsyahril prove it wrong... At the end (at 8pm) when we did the count,syahril alone ate 9 burgers (he tried everything on the menu), 3 drinks, 3ice-creams, 2 chicken, 1 poridge, 1 pie, and 3 fries! That easily accumulate to RM70!

Astro

I just got my own set of Astro today. Ita and I decided to install astro atour room, just to make sure that we didn't miss Desperate Housewife :-). Sowe got one each. Now I am able to have the remote to my self and watch myfav programes on MTV, Channel V, HBO, and all..

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Education

One of my staff got admitted to the hospital today. They said because of high fever. Being a responsible and caring superior, I went to the fruitstall, bought him some fruits and drinks (its not my fault, there is nodelifrance here in kerteh!) Off I went to Dungun Hospital. The place wasphetatic! A dorm-like ward, with no spring mattress, and no aircond.Spending 30 minutes of my time, giving enuf time for me to be grateful toGod. Grateful to be fortunate enuf to have brain and study my ass off inthe Uni, fortunate enuf to get a scholarship and fortunate enuf to secure ajob... Not just "a" job, but a very gud job per say. If I should be sick inthe future, God forbids, Im entitled to be admitted into a first classward, complete with my own room and TV. Looking at the poor boy's face, Ifeel ashame of my self. All my clerks in the office work their guts out,day in, day out just to earn a decent few hundreds dollar at the end ofeach months. Where else myself, the so called "executive" sittingcomfortably at my work station, doing some so-called strategic thinking,decision making and planning. Is that fair?I would bet, giving him a second chance, he too would study his ass off inthe school in order for him to earn what I am earning now, to be sittingwhere I am sitting now and to get the benefits Im getting now.

Monday, October 10, 2005

dreams

When I was in school days, having girl talk with my friends, the main topicwould be, obviously guys! When asked to describe our dream guy, romantic,gud looking, and rich would score high on the list. When it comes to myturn, I have a slight different view. I won't deny that some of thecharacteristics mentioned earlier would score some point too, but to me, Iwould prefer something else. I would love to meet a guy who really cherishor adore me.. Some one who appreciate every single bit of me. Someone whojust love the way I speak, the way I walk, the way I do things, or even theway I sleep.. Hehe.. Simply say, I like someone who likes me the way I am.Someone who would think of me where ever he goes, or what ever he does! Idon't know if it is destiny or just a normal coincidents, but today, I gotan e-mail that reads:

"Saya sgt2 tertarik cara awak treat people..ur smile, ur voice, ur tone ,ur dimple, ur laugh...the way u think ..make me thing ..untung nye sape dpt awak.."

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Ramadhan

First day of ramadhan and first time celebrating it in Terengganu. A daybefore puasa, everybody in the office is busy talking about what to preparefor sahur. And that evening, everybody left early. I am still replyinge-mails until one of my staf asked,

Staff: Cik tak balik lagi ke?
Me: lambat sikit.. Saya bukan nak masak pun
Staff: kesian sahur sorang2. Cik sahur makan apa? Tak masak ke?
Me: *trying not to cry* Entah la.. Makan McD jer kot

I went to pasar ramadhan in kertih with Ita and her housemate Niza. A lot of people there, I was facing difficulties in fiding a car park. My mom called last night and said it must be very nice to celebrate ramadhan interengganu and the food at the bazaar will be very tasty. But it turns out differently! I walk up and down the bazaar and all I can see is murtabak,keropok lekor, nasi kerabu or sweet-to-death kuih. No kebab, No roti john,No otak2 (now I really missed KL). Thinking of all the pasar ramadhan inPJ, SS14, KJ, Subang, Kg Jawa, Stadium and others, really made me feel likerunning back to KL there and then! I am not complaining.. I am grateful tobe able to celebrate ramadhan once again.. And hopefully Syawal :-) But...

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

night out

A few of my orientation friends from KL is coming to kertih today (meeting,audit, offshore and all). So, we, people in kertih decided to take them outfor dinner. Nothing fancy, but we had a great time.. Nice food, nice chatand all.. On our way back, I decided to ask Syahril to drop me at the guardpost since he will have to drive another 14 KM or so to drop the rest ofthem at the hotel... And MA agreed to fetch me there (guard post). But itturns out to be a bad idea. The e-mail below explains everything :

From MA:

morning.
u are mad at me, aren't u? I knew what u had in your mind, that
i really owe u an apology for putting in trouble, waiting and
walking home just by urself.
well if so, " Liza, thousands apologies!!, I'm truly sorry"
whatever it was, actually I could explain which I would and I
know, I will.... when I got a chance.
as u wish.... no more ..... no more .... and no more ...... and
no more ....... and so on...

MA
Mechanical Planner - Static
Tel: 09 - 8***** H/P: 019 - 9*****
e-mail: MA@p*******.com.my

From Me:

It is not a big matter actually. let me tell u what actually happened last nite

1) syahril drop me off at the guard post.
2) I called u but u didn't answer (u were performing prayer)
3) I didn't know what to do, my bat is getting low
4) I realize that Ileft my house key in syahril's car
5) Im affraid that I will not be able to call my house mate since my batt is getting very low 6) decided to walk back home
7) I walk thru the children's playground
8) got home and Im sweating and realize that I left my charger in the office
9) getting ready for sleep and realize how stupid i've reacted (should have wait for you at the guard post)

It is not ur mistake, I yang tak reti bersabar... Im sorry

SM
Executive
Public Affairs and General Services
tel: (+609) 8** **** / fax: (+609) 8** ****
email: sm@p*******.com.my

Sunday, October 02, 2005

what a girl wants

Me... U know what... tomrw is the anniversary of my engagement...
Me... tetiba I rasa sedih pulak :-(
ita... kesian kat u...but u should also feels relieved...
ita... just think u r lucky u r not married to him...
Me... yes.. but I kesian kat dia... mesti dia sgt sedih..
Me... hopefully he will find someone ealse
Me... salah eje... someone else
ita... he got no one else to blame but himself
ita... sapa tak takut kena threaten macam tu sampai
ita... n hopefully he wont be like that again with that someone else...
Me... yup. nasib baik I tak buat the biggest mistake in my life... kalau tak, I will be unhappily married by now...
ita... i hope u will marry someone good
ita... damn...i hope i will marry someone good too
Me... you will... don't worry,...
Me... perempuan yg baik utk lelaki yg baik...
Me... u baik tak?
ita... err...i think so hehe
ita... but ramai gak pompuan yg baik unfortune enough to marry a lunatic
ita... unfortunate...duh
Me... hehe...
Me... that must be bcoz of karma or something...
Me... she must have done something bad in the past...
Me... not that i believe in karma or anything... but... as da saying goes "what goes around, comes around"
ita... they say hidup, mati and jodoh is predetermined
ita... there's one guy out there meant for me
ita... i just wonder where the hell he is now
ita... n whats taking him so long
Me... you buat I gelak la petang2 nie...
Me... and I am wondering where is mine as well...
Me... most probably our man is getting prepared to meet us kot..
Me... mana tau... he's in US ke skarang...
Me... nanti terjumpa kat airport... masa U tgh transit ke...
Me... tak pun jumpa masa kita pegi tour europe next year :-)
ita... hehe...maybe kot. tak jumpa sbb mmg tak jumpa lagi
ita... a mat salleh guy kat europe...
ita... tak hensem sangat...mcm brad pitt je...thehehe
ita... europe...here we come...
Me... cewah... nak brad pitt jer... boleh la tu...
Me... who knows, you can take him over from that jolie girl
ita... hah. in my dreams...tak hingin deh brad pitt kat aku hehe
ita... but seriously, looks is just bonus factor...asalkan sedap mata memandang cukup lah
ita... to me intellect is the most important
ita... i got a temper and i cant stand slow witted person
ita... nanti i yg buat domestic violence hehe
Me... woit... ganas betul...
Me... agreed... kalau slow nak buat apa...
Me... nak kena explain one-by-one lak..
Me... leceh la...
Me... kalau mcm tu, u kena buat IQ test la pulak...
Me... certain level jer is accepted
ita... hehe takdela sampai nak harvard grad
ita... pandai sgt pun susah gak
ita... as long as he undertstands what the heck i'm talking abt dah le
ita... not that i talk much hehe

Saturday, October 01, 2005

Perfect day

Ita and I decided to berbuka at Residence Resort in Paka. since this morning, all I can think off is the food that I saw in the buffet flyers. It states that residence is preparing more then 120 menu for the buffet. yum...yum... its still 7 more hours to berbuka :-(

we leave office at 5 sharp. it is ita's turn to drive today. Since we are housemate now, we decided to be more economic and more environmental friendly by car pooling (be cool, car pool!). anyway, we reach the hotel at exactly 6.30. met Ita's ex-housemate there. we shared a table. ha..ha... makan time! (I leave that to your imagination). The four of us (girls) talking and gossipping like nobody's business. It's almost 9.30 that we realize it is just the four of us left in the restaurant.. hehe.. girls and gossip!

on our way back, Ita suggested that we have coffee at another hotel (awana kijal). I was so damn bloody tired and sleepy, but it was just 10 o'clock, so I decided to follow. It turns out to be a gud idea anyway. we had our nice hot coffee by the beach while the band is playing a nice romantic love song. A perfect coffee, perfect atmosphere, perfect night, perfect song, with a not-so-quite perfect partner.. hehe.. I secretly wish Ita is someone else, then everything will be perfectly PERFECT!

I pack my back once I got back to our house (going back to KL tomorrow-yeehaa!).

Sunday, September 25, 2005

fast forward

Its been like ages since the last time I update this blog... been very busy with work, life and stuff.. so here we goes, things that's happening in my life, in fast forward:

work

Just got back from orientation for new executives (2 beautiful weeks in KL). Im all energized and charged up. so inspired to perform at work. Every body was so excited to see me back in the office (or vice versa), they said I look glowing! bet you, 14 days without having to go to the office really bring the results... hehe.. I didn't even get the chance to unpack my bag from the prientation, got an e-mail from my boss saying that all executives are expected to attend a meeting in Kuantan... so I have to pack another bag, and off I went to kuantan... however it was wonderful. I get a room to my self (a very huge and beautiful room, with spacious bathroom) and the hotel is located just opposite to Kuantan Megamall! Lovely... the meeting goes well, get the chance to to mingle with the bosses. I had a conversation with my GM during lunch. he promissed that he will put me in the marketing department after serving at my current position... hehe.. simply means that I will get the chance to come back to KL and work at KLCC :-)

Love

My relationship with kanda is officially over! end! Fin!
in a way I feel relief and more relax without him around me... But Im not going to comment further about this. It is enuf for you to know that Im currently single and very much available... to kanda:

It took all the strenght I have just not to fall apart
Im trying hard to mend the pieces of my broken heart
But as long as I know how to love, I know I'll stay alive
I have life to leave, I have all my love to give
I will survive!

Relationship
MB - weird! that is the best word to describe our relationship at the moment. love, friend, care, passion and everything in between.

MA - spent most of my time in kertih with him.. dinner, lunch, and at work (sametime connection)...

and my best friends... nothing much to tell....

Family

Abah - the doc finally took his leg away. it was in the critical stage according to him... so we agreed half heartedly... I couldn't imagine my dad's feeling coming out from the operation theater. without his left leg... But all of us are with him. to face the "dugaan" together. I bought my father a wheel chair and a pair of walking stick, whatever it is called. Really hope that it will help him in moving around before his leg is ready for a "kaki palsu"

Mom - had an arguement with her last week. she is nagging about me being 25 yrs old and still not getting married, or more so, not having a serious relation with any man. I told her that if she bring again the same subject in the future, I will not come back to her house again, and I never even hear the word marriage after that ever again.

sistas - the same boring things... nuting much

Personal

Had a hair cut... was thinking of cutting my hair short, to bring out new mood. but didn't have the courage.. so the same word to the hair stylist "layer cut, but keep the length".

I bought a new phone, K700I. miss my old samsung... lots of memories.. but I have no choice.

-END-

Saturday, September 03, 2005

moving out

Im moving out from my house to a new bungalow with ita, my colleague. Its in the sameArea but a few blocks away. The problem is, Im moving out tomorrow, but I still couldn't find the courage to tell my current house mate that Im actually planning to move out!

Afternoon comes.. I try to draft an e-mail to them, this is how it reads:

Dear fellow housemate,For your info, I am planning to move out from our house effective from thismonth. Sorry for any inconvinience caused and hope we can still be friendsand in touch.

JJ- please advise me on any other outstanding bills that I need to pay.

TQkorang and sorry again...

It took me more then an hour before I fainally gain my courage to actuallypress the "send" icon on the screen. The moment I send out the e-mail, I quickly leave the office... Affraid of the reply that they will give me.Eventually, I didn't get any reply from any of my housemate until 5 o'clockthat day. Now Im really affraid. They must hate me to the skin.

Arrive home around 6. Spend almost 15 min outside the house just wondering how the hell am I going to get inside and to avoid them... Finally I got the courage.Unfortunately, I bumped into one of my housemate the next morning. She gave me the"what-da-hell-r-u-still-doing-in-the-house-thought-u-already-moved-out"kindda look. I just smile and walk quickly out to my car...

My department organized a kenduri that nite, to welcome the Ramadhan (which is coming in 2 days time). Met my boss' fiancé (she look weird) and mystaff's spouses. Kindda weird since they introduced me to their wife and they look puzzled too (hey, I look very young to be someone's boss). Anyway, I ate a lot that nite. The chicken is so yummy :-) .... Had ice-cream with MA that nite at KFC (pitty me, no Baskin Robin in kertih).Guess I need a whole 2 days on the tread mill to actually burn the foodthat I ate tonite :-)

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

mo' money mo' problem

I am not performing at work today. Somehow I lost my concentration and focus. I really looking forward to 5 pm when I can actually drive quickly back home to my small and cosy room and hide. Hide from the true reality of life, hide from my family problems, and top of all, hide from my personal problems. Call me a chicken, but it is too much for a 25 years old women (Iam not a girl, and almost a women) to cope with.

1) I am far away from my close friends and family, in an alien place and new environment,
2) having a crisis in a relationship,
3) trying hard to reduce weight (I dont actually put much effort on this to be frank),
4) doing my best to perform at work and to impress my boss and to manage9 staff
5) my dad is in the hospital, fighting to recover so that the doctor will not take his left leg away,
6) My eldest sister facing crisis in her life, financially, and I love his son very much, therefore her crisis is mine too...
7) My mom is having a never ending arguments with my younger sister
8) My step siblings is trying to out perform me and my sister in impressing my dad (they can pretend and show how concern they are over mydad's health instead of his money)
9) the presure from my relatives on when will I get married (my cousinof my age is getting married early next year, so the pressure isgreater)
10) My own urge to get married and I don't actually have anyone to call my BF...

The list can goes from one page to a full 10 pages. Depending on thedetails and severity...Anyway, here comes 4.30. My boss ask me to come to his room to discuss afew matter. I look at my watch and its already 10 past 5. I said to my bossthat I actually need to go back early today since I have a very importantengagement. He look shock. He didn't even blink an eye... He stare at me asif I have turned into an orange... Eventually he ends the discussion. Iwent straight back home. My friend from tennis called to ask if I want tojoin him at gym. The trainer there which area of my body is my mainconcerned. I said its my leg abviously. So he suggested for me to spend 30minutes on the treadmill. After what it seems like a 30 hours brisk walkingon the machine, I discovered that I have lost 135 calories. I was impresseduntil the trainer actually told me that there is approximately 140 caloriesin a glass of "tea tarik"! Can you imagine that? You spend like 5 minutesto drink a glass of tea tarik and you need an exhausting 30 minutes on atreadmill to lose it! I swear to my self that I will not allow any food topast my throat ever again!Can you keep a secret? I actually eat a slice (a very small slice) ofchocolate cake that my housemate bake that night :-)

Love hurts...

"I have to put an end to all this. Sorry if hopes is wrongly given"
Damn... Its easy said then done. It is my feelings thats hurt, not his, itis my pride in jeorpadize, not his, it is my hopes that is being betrayed,not his, it is me who suffer the consequences, not him!

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Love hurts (II)

It's hard to pretend you love someone when you don't, but it is harder to pretend you don't love someone when you really do."

"How can you just be friends with someone when every time you look at them it makes you want them more?"

"I'm not supposed to love you, I'm not supposed to care, I'm not supposed to live my
life, wishing you were there. I'm not supposed to wonder where you are or what you do, I'm sorry I just can't help myself, I fell in love with you."

Monday, August 08, 2005

cater 2 u

Just got back from KL yesterday. I drove my car accompanied by Ita. I normally enjoy the ride, but yesterday was really tourturing. I really feel like the road is endless... It was only half of the journey when I begin to feel tired and sleepy and dizzy and everything. Everything became blury. I decided to stop. We had lunch at a restaurant near cherating. The food was nice and I feel refreshed. Exchanged a few Sms’s with MB. Wanted to call HH but I have to be strong. It took all the strength I have just not to think of him.... Im confused. I am not sure of my own feeling.. I don’t know whether what I have is love. Can somebody please help me? Suddenly I dont even know what is the definition of love anymore... Nevertheless, I will survive... I have to survive!

Reach home at around 10 pm. Quickly un-packed my bag, had a quick shower and sleep.... My sleep was really deep... And the morning arrive really quick. But I feel better. I feel energized. Arrived office a bit early then usual. Scheduled to have 2 meetings today. The first one is on merdeka celebration at Export Terminal. Hazo, wand and I went for the meeting together. We had a really nice chat about marriage life during the journey (they are both married)... If you think that it is all happy ending, think again!

Hazo envy on all the time that I have in the world. I can manage to sleep 12 hours a day (he..he..he..) For her, 24 hours a day seems not enough. Try this, she has to wake up at 5.30 every morning, prepare breakfast for her family, get her 4 year old son and 7 year old daughter ready for school, sent them to 2 separate locations, rush for work, give 110% on work, rush to fetch the kids at lunch hour and send them to fardu ain in the afternoon, rush back to office again (skip lunch), face the endless job again, rush back after office hour to fetch the kids, arrived home and make sure the kids had shower and feed them. Make sure they did their school work, do the laundry, cook dinner for hubby and clean up the house. As if it is not enough, the sister-in-law is staying with her to top up the mess! She don’t even have time to put on lotion on her hands.

And the best part is, the hubby never appreciate all this. All the male species know is to complaint on how bad the cooking is and how mess the house was. She cannot even find a few minutes in a day to really pamper her self to body scrub, hair treatment, face mask and let alone enough sleep. This is really scary! With all the tight routine... Pimples, under eye bag, wrinkles and blemishes will quickly be your best buddies, your hair will soon be out of the place, and your hubby will conveniently look for a better view. Talking of equality!
Next our conversation shift to the most scary part of being a women, giving birth. Hazo and wan told me on their experience during breast feeding. I never in my life imagine how painful breast feeding can be. How your breast begin to swell with milk, and the pain when the baby actually suck for milk and it fail to came out... Ouch!


But all this, according to the two mother will not be painful if your other half be more supportive and sensitive to our feelings. After all, that is what we promised during the akad nikah right? Through good and bad times, till death do us apart?
But none of the above reduce the excitement that I have in becoming a wife. I really look forward to meet my future "other half". To have someone to come home to after a hectic day at work, to have someone that I can have a decent relationship with, someone to hug me while we lay lazyly on our couch wathcing "sleepless in seatle" or "ghost", someone to put blanket on me and kiss me gud nite... Marriage cant be that bad afterall...


Cater 2 U
by Destiny's Child

Baby, I see you workin' hard
Wanna let you know that I'm proud
Let you know I admire what you do
Don't know if I need to reassure you
My life would be purposeless without you
If I want it (you got it)
When I ask you (you provide it)
You inspire me to be better (ooh)
You challenge me for the better (ooh, ooh)
Sit back and let me pour out my love letter
Let me help you take off your shoes
Untie your shoe strings, take off your cufflinks
What you wanna eat, Boo, let me feed you
Let me run your bath water
Whatever you desire, I'll aspire
Sing you a song, turn the game on
I'll brush your hair, help you put your do-rag on
Wanna foot rub, want a manicure
Baby, I'm yours
I wanna cater to you, boy
Let me cater to you
Cause baby, this is your day
Do anything for my man
Baby, you blow me away
I got your slippers, your dinner, your dessert
And so much more, anything you want
Let me cater to you
Inspire me from the heart
Can't nothing tear us apart
You're all I want in a man
I put my life in your hands
I got your slippers, your dinner, your dessert
And so much more, anything you want
I wanna cater to you
Baby, I'm happy you're home
Let me hold you in my arms
I just wanna take the stress away from you
Making sure your that I'm doing my part
Boy, is there something you need me to do
If you want (I got it)
Just say the word I (I'm a try it)
I know whatever I'm not fulfillin'
Another woman is willing
I'm gonna fulfill you, mind, body and spirit
I promise ya, I keep myself up
Remain the same chick you fell in love with
I'll keep it tight, keep my figure right
I'll keep my hair fixed, rockin' the hottest outfits
When you come home late, tap me on my shoulder
I'll roll over
Baby, I heard you, I'm here to serve you
If it's love you need, to give it is my joy
All I wanna do
Is cater to you, boy
I wanna give my breath, my strength, my will to be there
That's the least I can do, let me cater to you
Through the good, the bad (the bad), the ups and the downs
I'll still be here for you, let me cater to you
Cause you're beautiful (you're beautiful), I love the way you are (you are)
Fulfill your every desire, your wish is my command
I wanna cater to my man
Your heart, so pure, your love shines through
The darkness, we'll get through
(So much) so much of me is you (is you)
I wanna cater to my man

Sunday, June 26, 2005

Sharapova who?

Sunday

My plant ( there are altogether 2 plant for Petronas Gas, namely, GPP A & GPP B) is organizing Solat hajat for one of the plant turn around that scheduled to take place this Julai. The solat hajat will be held today @ 1pm. I brought my telekung a long this morning. I was looking forward for that solat hajat, since I have a few other hajat untuk di doakan. But unfortunately, I got my period at 10am. So there goes solat hajat... Tapau food from cafe, and had my lunch in the office. After lunch, I begin to feel the pain. Macam nak balik rumah jer... But Its already 3.30. So I try to bear with the pain for a while.

Coach called me to confirmed on this evening’s training... Damn! But I have no choice, the tournament is in less than 2 weeks (I’m representing my company for tennis during this coming sports carnival ha..ha...). I leave office at 5.15. Arrive home at 5.30. I have another 30minutes before the training begun. So I decided to lay on the bed for a while hoping the pain would ease a little. Tapi it turns out that I terlelap la pulak! By the time I woke up, its already 30 minutes past 6! My coach must be bloody mad at me. I look at my hp, and there’s 7 missed calls, and all are from my coach. There is also a sms. Its from my coach! It reads:

"Sorry saliza, I tak dpt turun ari ni. Insyaallah besok sampai khamis kita practise"

Lega! So I continued my sleep. Tutup curtain, pull my blanket.... I felt deep into the wonderland. I slept so tight and woke up at 11.30! Baru sedar yang I am still wearing baju kurung, blom mandi and blom dinner. So I quickly take my shower (sgt sejuk!) And had freash milk and toast sandwich for dinner... Now I am comfortable to sleep again...ha..ha..ha... And that is exactly what I did! Tido again from 12.30 and woke up again at 7am. I slept 12 hours that night and that is half of the day! I wasted half of my day sleeping! (but it is worth it considering there is no other benificial activities that you can do in kertih) .

* supposed to attend the wedding of my clerk’s daughter... Guess I will just give the wedding gift on Monday instead.

Monday

I am scheduled to have training on audit today. I was late and quickly drove to the training building. The trainee has begun the session... I just give my sweetest smile ever, and quickly find a place to sit...

The training is very informative. So I was glad to attend it. We got RM5 coupon for lunch. But I didn’t manage to go for lunch since I have to hurry back to office. Have to sign a few documents and to approve a few things on line. Called up the cafeteria and ordered Nasi Goreng Ayam and Orange Sunquick. Tapau for malam instead. 2.15pm, rushed back to the training department. The training ends at 4.30. Went to the cafeteria to get my meal. And rushed back home to attend traning pulak (chewah... Mcm org busy jer).

Coach is already at the court when I arrived. Its kindda weird because he is sweating like a pig and I don’t see anyone else there. Dia main dgn siapa ye? Anyway, I am learning how to serve today (hello! Not that I don’t know how to serve, but he is teaching me how to serve like a Pro!).I practised so hard that I feel I had torn my arm tissue muscle (ala... Mcm footballer tu... Tisu terkoyak). Buat muka letih, but coach buat tak faham...

At 6.30, people begin to fill the court (there are 6 courts all together at the club). Sheikh and azhan is playing in the court next to mine... When I was talking to coach (actually coach is scolding me... Dia kata I am holding the grip mcm org tak makan 10 hari) suddenly a very fast and strong ball coming towards my direction and hit me exactly on my right B*e*ST!!! AUCH!!!!!!!!! Thats hurt! I almost cried. But since the ball hits me at a very strategic place, I just ignore the pain to cover the shame. Azhan is the caused. He look so guilty... He appologies thousand times... And I assured him that everything is fine.balik rumah, I quickly check the spot. Takut it will ruin the shape or something... ha..ha...ha... But luckily it is just a red spot... Jayjay advised me to tuam kan the spot with hot water. I did. And I hope nothing will happen.
The next day, got an e-mail from him


HIM : Hi, is this the "tennis" saliza?
Me : right, its me
HIM : Just want to appologize about yesterday, I really feel bad
Me : Yea... I will definitely not to get any near to the court if you are playing....
HIM : let me buy you dinner
Me : (Shit!) I am just kidding... It was nothing.. Really. Appology accepted!
HIM : I’ll buy you dinner

Thursday, June 23, 2005

wonderful place called kertih!

21st June 2005

Went to pasar malam at kerteh with my office mate, wan, yesterday. She bought a few things to cook (she's 1 year older and she's happily married) like fish, chicken meat, onion and sorts of things... I bought ready cooked food instead. Nasi kerabu looks tempting.. Yummy! So I bought nasi kerabu, ayam goreng and some fruits. Went for tennis practice at KDRP (Rantau Petronas Country Club). Played with Eng, Sheikh, and Hafiz. My performance was bad!!! Lost my concentration...

Arrived home at 8... Had my dinner with jayjay, and ernie (my housemates) while watching CHARMED. Its a very lousy day.. I am bloody tired, but did not manage to sleep. Had a shower, wash my hair... And decide to take a ride for a while. So I decide to fuel up since they say it is economical to fuel up your car at night. Kak tini called me to say Hi... Sleep early that night... With lots of things on my mind :-(

22nd June 2005

Woke up at 6.30... Leave house at 7.30... All this while, I've been thinking of stopping to buy nasi lemak and to get a copy of the news paper on my way home.... Unfortunately, time is always the constraint... It is me to blame... Selalu lewat :-(

so this morning... The plan is being executed effectively... Bought nasi lemak Ikan (Things always comes with ikan here in tgnu) and get a copy of NST. Nothing much in the office. Had my "main committee meeting" for three long hours, had my lunch in the office (how boring...) And had another meeting in the afternoon. By the time the meeting ends, its already 4.30. Finished up my work, and left office at exactly 5.30. Have to rush back since I have tennis training with En Yazid at 6. By the time I reach rantau, its already raining... Yes! En. Yazid called and cancelled the training... How wonderful ;-) watch "first-wives club" on HBO... Now I really don't know what to do... Read story book, did my laundry and pack my bag (going back to KL tomrw.. He..he..he.. Seronoknye!)

23rd June 2005

Woke up early. Have to get to office on time since I will chair the morning briefing today. A bit nervous since I will be speaking and the rest of the staff (27 to be exact) of my department will be listening... Fortunately, everything went well. Send and reply a few business e-mails... And I don't know what else to do... Looking forward for 4 o'clock...

Leave office exactly 4.00pm... Rushed back home. Bought some kuih at bandar baru kerteh.... Take a shower and waited for Ita to fetch me (she's working at the Finance dept, and she's new too, and she's single too, and she hates kerteh too). She drove VIOS.

The journey was very sickening... Somehow, it is jam like hell in cherating (because of the stupid road-block, and the police is so damn smart since they are doing the road block everyday at the same spot and I am so damn sure that all the criminals in Malaysia is aware of the road-block...)

Somehow, we manage to arrive damansara at 10.30. Kanda fetch me there and we went for dinner. Arrive home at 12am. Daniel is still awake... He is kind of shy went he saw me...yela... Dah 2 weeks tak jumpa. Miss him so much! Wash my face, brush my teeth and zzzzzzzzzzzzz..............

Saturday, June 04, 2005

new beginning

1st June 2005

My first day working with the new organization. Drove my sista's car to LRTstation. Past by a few places that has created lots of sweet memories in mylife. Places like 'nasi padang restaurant" in kg. Medan, "Nasi kandar" nearthe LRT station, the LDP expressway itself (always use this highway to getto places like time square ayam golek with MB and NH). My heart is aching :-( I'm going to miss all this soon. Half heartedly I drove to thedestination. In the LRT, I am still considering whether my decision toleave KN is right or wrong. Why in the world should I leave a company thatis located only 5 minutes walking distance away from my house to join acompany that is located 500 KM away from my house. I must be out of mymind!

Arrived at KLCC 30 minutes past 7. Everybody around me seems to do thingswalking and they do it real fast. They walk on escelator (the thing iscalled escallator, not walkelator... They are defeating the purpose... Theinventor must be upset), they walk while having their b'fast, they walkwhile reading the news paper. And everything around me seems different.Anayway, I manage to arrive office on time (I took my breakfast, sandwicheswhile walking too.. Mind you ;-) and guess what, The executive incharge forthe briefing that morning is late! How can an executive of a multinationalconglomarate organization be late for his work, and all you know he isbriefing me on the office hour and how every employee are expected to be punctual!

The briefing seems like ages for me. The clock is moving rather slow thatmorning. Expecting to have lunch with NH and MB. But this guy kept me until15 minutes past 1.... I missed my lunch! Not that I am hungry but I am notable to join my best friend for lunch. But my wonderful friends came to myhouse to bid their final farewell. Felt like crying ... But...

Left KL at around 3pm. Didn't manage to sleep throughout the journey. Myhead is pondering with lots of things. Past by a few familiar places(during treasure hunt). But now, minus my beloved friends (andbeloved....). Arrived Paka at 8. Checked in the hotel (Residence ResortPaka). Slept early.....zzzz....

2nd June

Had breakfast with mom, Kak tina, wan and nene at the hotel. They drove me to my new office. My office is located exactly infront of the burning flames (flaring). Iam working with the Gass Processing Plant... Duh!.

So many discouraging things happened to me today. If its not because ofthousands of sms and calls from MB to cheer me up, I will already be on myback back to KL by now. I almost quit! Reasons being:
1) I am the only women in my department who is bare headed (free hairla...)
2) They start the day with tazkirah (not that I'm secular minded orwhat) and the topic on that day was "Ahli Neraka". At that point oftime, I really feel like running back to the hotel to borrow ascarf from my mom.
3) Until 10pm that night, I still did not manage to get a place to stay!My mom begun to panic and at a point, she begun to cry!I was hopeless and helpless.

My family are still tired from the longdistance journey but they did not show it to me. Right after maghrib, theyare all set to go out and search place for me to stay. Rasa sgt terharu...We went to various places... I really need someone to talk to at that time.To lift my spirit... Called kanda... He said don't worry and everythingwill be fine (yeah right!) Called bad... He sounded worried. He suggestedthat I rent a hotel for a few weeks before I can find a proper place tostay... Gud Idea. So my family and I changed our plan. We set to find ahotel (with reasonable price) instead. After half an hour later, I receiveanother call from MB. Again God sent MB to my rescue. To me his voicesounded like an angel.

MB : Dah dpt rumah?
Me : Blom (Buat suara kesian)
MB : Nah, amik no nie : 019 *******
Me : Dia ada bilik kosong ke?
MB : Call jer la...
Me : Thanks bad
(Again...... I cried...)

To cut a long story short, with the contact number that MB gave me, I manage to secure a room. Not just a normal room but a place that reallysuits my dream (MB really make my dreams come true). The place is calledrantau laut. It is a huge bungallow facing the magnificient South ChinaSea. The place has its own security and has its own private beach. Itsamazing! (I really owe you a lot Bad)Words cannot describe how happy I was at that particular happy. So do myfamily. Really wish that bad was there to share my joy (really feel likekissing him at that time ;-) back to the hotel with my family and in notime I was already in the wonderland....zzzzz..........

3rd June

Checked out from hotel. I really pushed my family and made them leavekerteh early. I really want to make sure we arrive KL before 6. This comes with two reasons:
1) Scheduled to take brand new Gen2 from the showroom tonite at 7.30
2) Having a dinner date with MB at 8.30.. (really looking forward for thisdate)

Half way through our journey, Kak tina begin to feel sleepy and tired....Instantly I offered to continue to drive the huge and bulky Mazda "Fighter"(Taknak lambat punye pasal...) Arrived KL approximately 7pm.Due to some technical error (problem with clutch/gear), my car, again,stranded at the showroom. HOW UNLUCKY I CAN BE! Guess I have to wait foramother week before I can drive it back to kerteh. But my date is still on.MB pick me up at Carrefour. We went to a restaurant at Terminal 3 Subang.The food was tasty and the night was wonderful. Arrived home at 15 minutespast 11. I was extreamly happy and exhausted....zzzzz....

4th June

Woke up early. Pack a few belonging of mine. Sue and I went to the workshopto get her Kembara serviced (I am taking her car back to kerteh since mycar is not ready). Took our breakfast at SYED while waiting the car to beserviced. Car ready at 12. Rush back home... Put my things in the car...Kissed daniel gud bye...Pick kanda up at the Kesas Highway. He look tired... So I drove the car onmy own (I am tired myself after driving all the way from Kuantan to KLyesterday..but..). It was bumper-to-bumper jam at the karak highway,luckily it's an outo transmission. I don't feel tired, and kanda slept mostof the journey, so I drove up to kerteh. He checked in at the Residence InnPaka. We had our dinner at Dungun... It was lovely... By the river side.Later, kanda drove me back to rantau (my house la..). He helped fixing mywardrobe and rack (I tried to fix it on my own, but to no avail). Pitykanda... Left him all alone out side the house since I have to (want to....actually) watch AF Concert. Slept early that night...Had breakfast with kanda at the hotel... Lepak with him by the pool to killthe time. He checked out at 11. Went to Mc'D to have our lunch. And kandawent back to KL at 2.30 :-( now I am all by self again.... Watch movie onthe astro most of the evening.. Did my laundry. Went out to buy dinner,read novel and zzzz.....

Monday, May 30, 2005

tears

sunday, 6:22 PM.....

just woke up from my evening nap...

Grab my mobile underneath my pillow… appears on the screen “1 message received”… I press the “READ” button on the keypad… I read the message:

“ time seems to slip away so fast…. 1 minute you are with me & the other you are not…. “

I broke down and cry….

season in the sun

My dear friends…

Tomorrow will be my final day working with KN. The final day of being one of the 12 members of the “most talk about” MTs in KN. The final day of being the most pretty HR staff in KN… ha…ha…ha..

As some of you are aware (I guess everybody knew), I choose to leave KN and move on with my career. I will be joining PETRONAS. So before I go, I like to apologize for any bad things that I have done, said, or if I had intentionally or unintentionally hurt any body’s feeling….

I am going to miss all of you so much. With all the sweet memories that we have created…


Bad – My partner. Guess I’ve spent most of my time in KN with you. You are the most charming man that I ever knew. Tq for taking care of me while the attachment period. Tq for tolerating my “mengada2 attitude”. Tq for waiting patiently for me during lunch (especially on Friday at KN kompleks). Tq for being so nice to me. Tq for trusting me with your Gen 2. Tq for listening to my never-ending problems…. Tq for “jumping-start” my car … Tq for everything… (Some things are better left unsaid)

Nurul - alamak… tulis nama kau pun aku dah rasa nak nangis….. you are the best. So sincere and straight forward. I shared a lot of secrets with you. Shared the same interest (shared the same guess handbag). We can spend most of our times together. I am going to miss all the night outing that we did together (especially masa cari rumah Iquan). Nanti aku takleh jadi kakak kau dah....but you still have to answer me bila aku tanye kau “BF Comel tak hari nie”. Jgn nakal2 tau…. Nanti kakak “POK”

Asiah - As the saying goes ‘don’t judge the book by its cover’. I have a total different perception on you on the first day that we met in A’famosa. But obviously I am wrong! Tq for all the rides. Kau tak berkira langsung. Certainly I will miss the Teh Halia in the morning… the miss calls… I will miss our journey to KLIA, to PCD, waiting for you at Comuter station J you will certainly be the most pretty and wonderful wife to KJ. Sorry takleh attend wedding kau… hope everything goes well on that day… sedih takleh tgk baju pengantin kau… don’t forget to forward me the pictures okey…

Diana - Tq for everything. You are very sweet. Don’t worry because God had created someone “sweet” for you as well. (usaha la cepat2… nanti melepas). Nanti kawin jgn lupa jemput aku. Kau jgn la jogging byk sgt… nanti body kau jadi mcm model video clip usher, aku jealous

Iquan - I hated you during our first meeting at A’famosa. You kept calling all the girls (including myself) kak long… geram betul aku kat kau masa tu… especially masa main susun PVC tu… but now, it turns out that you are cool. I can talk to you on almost everything. Still remember the time when aku call kau and menangis2 kat phone? Ha..ha…ha… keep that as our secret okey. Tq for everything. Iquan comel

Jay - Jaq, J-Lo, what ever they are calling you now. tq for the ABC. Tak sempat nak belanja you MC’D. nanti I balik from terengganu I belanja okey? And jay… please stop dieting. You are already pretty… kurus sgt pun tak cun! (betul tak diana?)

Ruzi - Tq for the “nasi ayam”… nasib baik kau and jay ada… tak la aku kempunan. Nanti aku belanja kau and jay pulak ye… Tq for everything friend. Nanti kau kawin jgn lupa jemput aku ye.. (kau ada bf ke? aku dah confuse)

Anis - the main thing that I remember most about you is how conscious you are about your hair and your “%$#@^&” (nurul pun sama…. ). I will be very glad to continue our English Class. Just e-mail me okey… Tq and sorry for everything…

Sara - Sara comel! … nanti takleh tgk kau buat muka comel dah…. Nanti bila kau gossip ngan nurul jgn lupa include nama aku skali ye… kau nak masuk HR tak ganti aku.. aku leh recommend kat mohan. And please don’t cry because the relation ends, smile because it happened (jgn sedih2 ye…)

Dalilah - You are the first person that I knew among MTs. I sit next to you in the bus on the way to A’famosa (if I’m not mistaken). Starting from that day, I only hear good things coming out from your mouth. You are so nice and sweet. Ingat lagi kau tumpang kan aku pagi2 ke komuter… aku cakap kete kau sgt bersih dan best… I really mean it...You are my inspiration… take care and sorry if I ever hurt your feelings

Shri - Macha… as what Iquan and bad called you… bila buat conversation dgn you, all I can hear is giggle… (but we don’t have much conversation because you selalu kat public phoneJ). nanti you kawin please don’t forget to invite me okey. Thank you for the friendship… sorry for everything.....really pray that you will recover fast.

Finally, please remember me… do keep in touch. Bila buat MT’s gathering nanti, please3X invite me okey… take care and all the best for your future undertakings. I’m going to miss all of you.

Saturday, May 28, 2005

magical nite...

I have exactly 3 working days left before joining the new organization… how do I feel right now? I am not sure… with a perfect blend of excitement, curiosity, nervousness, sadness, depression, anticipation and uncertainty, this feeling will surely drive a vulnerable women like me crazy!

Anyway, my day yesterday went as usual. With nothing to do (I am resigning in three days time remember?). I am counting seconds! Lucky for me since my dear friend NH is kind enough to let me use her Password so that I am able to access the internet (Sayang nurul). I played on-line game on Samsung web-site most of the day. I played so long that I almost throw-up! Fortunately, I beat the high score! Ha..ha…ha… some sense of satisfaction…

Had lunch with the two girls, NH and SA. MB is on leave yesterday… I missed him in a way…

Well, we girls went for lunch at Bidara, Bandar Sunway. The food was nice. Later we went to see the new Perodua car, Myvi. The car is nice and cute... but I don’t really like the interior fittings… don’t look as stylish as Gen2… (he..he..he.. What do you expect, I will get my Gen2 soon... siapa lagi nak puji if not myself right?)

Spent most of the evening with SA and NH… I went down to their work station… we chatted, and laugh... I will definitely miss this moment with them… to be separated is always hard… this is the most difficult part.

MB and I planned on watching MADAGASCAR that evening. He came to fetch me at my house… he waited for almost 15 minutes since I am still in the shower when he arrived (ye ke 15 minit?....) sorry bad. Anyway, I manage to get in the car with water still dripping from my hair (tak sempat nak kering) and with no make-up on my face. Since we are not able to book the ticket (maybe because of school holiday) we changed the plan. We went to Putrajaya instead. It was almost 7 when we reach Putrajaya. We had out dinner at a place called Taman Warisan.. a botanical garden. The place was lovely. We had Sate and Otak-Otak… later, MB took me on a tour around Putrajaya. Not that this is my first time to Putrajaya, but everytime I go to this place, my family and I only go to the dataran where the food court and Putrajaya Mosque is located. So, everything that I saw last night was amazing. I especially impressed with the design of the Palace of Justice and the PICC.

We arrived subang at around 9 pm and decided to have drinks at SS15. MB sent me home at 15 minutes past 10. I was tired but I had fun.... it was a very fine and exciting evening…. Took a quick shower and zzzzzzz…..

Friday, May 27, 2005

wedding song

NU FLAVOR

"Heaven"

First time I saw you girl,
You turn me upside down
I can't stop thinking bout you
My head is spinning round
I got to find away to get with you somehow
Girl I'm so crazy for you
You know I want you now
And everyminute of every single day
I'm dreaming of how it could be
And everynight before I go to sleep
I'm praying that soon you'll be here with me

[Chorus]
Heaven, heaven oh heaven can't you help
Heaven oh heaven can't you help me
I'm down on my knees please help me

Cant fall alseep tonight
I don't know what to do
I hold my pillow but I wanna be holding you
And when close my eyes I always see your face
I know my happiness is only kiss away
And every hour here in the dark
Every beat of my lonely heart
Tells me that I need to be with you
Heaven oh heaven what can I do

[Chorus]
Heaven, heaven oh heaven can't you help me
I'm giving my love for eternity
Heaven oh heaven can't you help me
I'm down on my knees please help me

[Instrumental]
Girl I'd give anything if you were here with me
Give anything you want and anything you need
I never thought that I could feel the way I do
But now I wanna spend the rest of my life with you
And every day that we are apart
I'm shedding this love here in my heart
And everynight before I go to sleep
I'm praying that soon you'll be here with me

[Chorus]
Heaven, heaven oh heaven cant you help me
I looked in her eyes now shes all I see
Heaven oh heaven cant you help me
I'm down on my knees please, heaven
The first time I set my ears on this song was way back in 1999. My second year in the University. I really think (at that time) that this is the best love song ever... and I even dream of playing this song on my wedding day... he..he..he.. If you ask me now... I have a full 10 pages list
of romantic songs that I would want to play on my wedding day... Song that scores high on the list would definitely be George Michael’s careless whisper, Marc Anthony’s “My Baby You”, N’Sync’s “I do (Cherish you)”, Mariah Carey’s “Always be my baby”, and songs by Baby face, Boys II Men, Bryan Adams, Toni Tony Tone, or Earth Wind & Fire….

You can have all the song in the world to be played on your wedding day… but will there be a wedding anyway? This question always make my heart skips a beat. This year alone (up to May 2005 to be exact) I have attended 6 weddings and 4 engagements…. They are either my friends from school, university or office. When will it be my turn? Not that I don’t have the potential candidate (s), but belum sampai seru kot… (or maybe takde org nak seru!)
I used to be so scared to discuss about marriage. I want to be perfect in everything that I do. Not sure if I am capable to be a good wife and a good mother. Like it is not enough.. Everyday I can hear people around me having problems with their marriage. Let it be faithfulness issues, financial problems, problem in raising up kids, mistress, sex, you name it… every single thing can actually lead to divorce. The best (or the worst) example I can quote is my own family… you can call our family broken or unhappy… but I cannot deny the fact that my parents are not living under the same roof anymore. My family falls under this category (broken family) since I was in my second year in the University (1999). But to me, it was long before that, that my family is unhappy (we are not like any other normal family). My father was a politician when I was a kid. I can only manage see him 2 or 3 times in a month! So, what’s the difference right. He is always away on business trips, visits, or making speeches elsewhere…. Sometimes I’m convinced that my dad had forgotten that my baby sister and I ever exist! But lucky for me to have such a caring (but over-protective at times…) mother… even though she is not highly educated, but she manage to raise us in her own special way…
Ironically, the people close to me (my best friends, my ex-boyfriend, my cousin) are also facing the same problem as I am… divorce parents! ISN'T THAT IRONIC!!!!!!!!

I wonder why two people who used to love each other so much when they were younger, decide to get married and promised to love each other, for better or worse, till death do they apart, can eventually turn into someone else and hate each other so much! Love is not great after all!

Will this be a lesson to me when I am married? Will all this help improve my skills in becoming a good wife or even a good mother? Only God knows……

Thursday, May 26, 2005

Holi-Holiday!

Saturday (21/05/05)

Today we are working half of the day. I always think that it is such a waste to work on Saturday. Come on!
The Sunday mood is already in everybody’s head… like any other typical Saturday, it took us (or at least me) 15 minutes to on my PC… another 15 minutes to settle down… 15 minutes to go to the pantry to get my coffee (I never ask the tea lady to bring the drinks for me to my table… kesian… rasa mcm my mom pulak L)… another 15 minutes to browse my e-mails…. Another 15 minutes to figure out what I am supposed to do… and the list goes on… By the time I can get the aura to work, it’s already 12.30pm! Gosh!!! How I hate working on Saturday….
My friends (MB & NH) planned on going for lunch together somewhere in sunway… But unfortunately I have to attend a wedding reception with my mom… I really want to “lepak” with them… but too bad! But then… by the time I reach home… something else happened… my neighbor (Indonesian) is caught by the security in Pyramid....... steeling! Great! They are facing two problems here. 1. Being caught for steeling and 2. Being an illegal Immigrant. With some sense of humanitarian instill in my heart by my parents, I start the car, and bring the parents with me to the crime scene to settle everything. With a few hours of negotiation, screaming, yelling and cursing… we manage to bring the criminal home… the criminal ( a 13 and 8 yrs old girl and 7 yrs old boy) kena hentam like hell at home… I am not sure if they are still alive since I never saw them out from their house until today.
Evening, went to SS 15 with kanda… had our dinner there. A bit tiring… and there goes my Saturday!
(by the way… Arsenal won the F.A Cup against M.U today… saw the cute face of Ljungberg… and that lights up my day)




Sunday (22/05/05)


Wesak day… planned to go to “car boot sale” with MB and NH… but after thousand of calls to NH phone and not a single answer (actually I called her 4 times J), we cancelled the plan. I sent my mom to aunty seha’s house in Shah Alam… and pick up MB at his house to have breakfast. Balik rumah, continue tido. nephew’s friends came to our house that afternoon and I have to send the boys to Sunway Pyramid as they wanted to watch “Star Wars”. While I was driving

Boy : Siapa tu (pointing at me as if I was invincible)
My Nephew : Makcik aku….
Boy : Makcik, boleh tolong kuat kan radio?
Me a.k.a Makcik : Hallo… I am not your makcik… please call me kakak!

(I mean…. come on…. They are 15 and I am 25… I can be their sister right?)

kanda called me at 3. we went to Lotus PJ for lunch… I don’t know about the price (since I am not the one who pays) but the “nasi daun pisang” certainly superb! Went home early… Had my weekly body scrub…and….zzzzz into the wonderland J


Monday (23/05/05)

final day of the public holiday… woke up at 8… with nothing to do… did my laundry… and made breakfast…“mee goreng”… I don’t think it taste nice… but my family finish it up in a blink of eye (okey… I exaggerate it a little bit…). Went for movie with my eldest and youngest sister and nene (my fav nephew). We watched a malay movie “Senario XX” (don’t laugh… I know you will think why the hell did I watch malay movie…. But hey… who else will support local industry if not us…. Local people… duh!!!) come back from the movie, I slept most of the day.. kanda called at 8. He picked me up and we went to up-town for dinner… I hate the dinner… not that the food is tasteless… but the whole thing! Maybe the way he treat me… I don’t expect anything like a princess but,… I don’t know… maybe I am comparing… the charming guy (the guy in the kuantan incident)…. Will treat me better… he will never let me be in any kind of difficulties…
maybe my friend, SA was right… kita takleh tamak… we cannot expect perfection in every thing.

But like the saying goes… “WHEN BEST IS POSSIBLE, BETTER IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH”!

I have the options right?

Friday, May 20, 2005

Love is in the air...

"You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover’s arms can only come later when you’re sure they won’t laugh if you trip" - Jonathan Carroll


Simply put, you have to be very careful in the initial stage of romance until you are absolutely sure that she/he is the one that can be with you through thick or thin... at least that’s how I interpret the meaning...

The moment I read this quotation this morning... it brings back the memory of an event organized by my company, the Treasure Hunt (4th March- 6th March 2005). It was a 3 days 2 nights event held in Kuantan and T’ganu. It was our first experience (for my friend and I) and we had fun!

Our first night was in Kuantan. That night, all of us went out to fuel up and to buy stuff (what stuff? Stuff la... you can figure out!) On our way out from the hotel... I TRIP!!!!!!! ( read: fell down like nangka busuk!) The worst thing is... I fell right in front of my enemy... she must be laughing like hell back in the hotel room.

Anyway, I was so touched (he touched my heart for a thousand times) by HIM ( I will consider if I should reveal his name ha..ha...ha...). He didn’t laugh!

While my wonderful friends SA, ND and especially NH (she is the one who nicely tell me a ghost story while waiting for me in the ladies... and that had caused me to trip!) Laugh the hell out of me... he calmly watched me put my self back together. I know that he wanted to help (I believe so) but the situation does not permit him to do so... was it painful? Hell yea! It was PAINFUL... But nak cover malu punye pasal... bila org tanye... kate tak sakit! By the time we reach the petrol station, my knee beginning to bleed!

I don’t know why, but that incident stuck in my memory (mcm tampal guna gam gajah). I know that he will never laugh at me if anything more embarrassing happen to me in the future. Simply because he cares. He is more concern of me rather than enjoying the fun. Can I consider that as love? Do I love him? Does he love me? Or just because we care for each other? I am not sure!

please don't get a wrong picture... he is not my bf [I wish he is :-)... or at least I wish to have a bf with his qulities]

*the night was lovely, the scenery was breath taking, the wind is soothing, the beach is heavenly beautiful and the memory is priceless!

Thursday, May 19, 2005

short-term memory lost!


This is the third time [as far as I can remember…] that I’ve lost the key to my room! Horrible…. The last time I have to get my sista’s BF to break the whole doorknob! My mom insisted on getting the locksmith to come [she is terrified that the RM200 door will come out together with the doorknob ;-)]… but heck! Locksmith costs five times more than buying a new doorknob….

But guess what? My adorable nephew thinks it funny to hide the keys from me for at least half an hour. Somehow he and his mother [my adorable eldest sista] find it interesting to test my memory!

What is it with my memory! I am only 24 years and 6 moths old, and I am beginning to lose my memories… Yesterday, I spend 10 minutes in the bath room just to recall whether I have washed my hair the day before. Finally I decided there is no harm in washing my hair twice! Guess I need to hire my own PA just to record my daily chores!

But lucky me… I have a very understanding family and friends. They never get tired of answering my question [even though I asked the same question 2 minutes ago ]. And they never take advantage on this.. [ye ke? If they do… I really could not recall]

Guess all this lead to the objective as to why I write this for my entry today:

1) I don’t have anything interesting to write today
2) I forgotten (again…. ) to bring the NH’s calculator that I’ve borrowed last week! Even though she has reminded me for the hundred times….



*My case is still in initial stage… nothing like Drew Barrymore in the movie “20 first Date”…. I am in the midst of rectifying it… he..he..he…

beginning

finally... my own blog, my own space and my own entry... was introduced to this world of blogging by my wonderful [but weird at times ;-)] best buddy... NH. we've been reading a lot of blogspot including famous ones like makandeh!

I always love to write, but not sure of what. So I guess I'll just write anything that I find interesting to share with my friends and my kanda [read: my bf]. I'll be leaving my current organization soon to join a new [and definately bigger] organization.... somewhere in t'ganu. So this blog is specially dedicated to my friends whom I will miss dearly... MB, NH, and SA.... and not forgetting kanda :-)

I'm talking rubbish... don't know what to write... since I don't have any actually!

But I have to start somewhere, sometime right? so here it goes... my first entry!
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