Friday, May 27, 2005

wedding song



First time I saw you girl,
You turn me upside down
I can't stop thinking bout you
My head is spinning round
I got to find away to get with you somehow
Girl I'm so crazy for you
You know I want you now
And everyminute of every single day
I'm dreaming of how it could be
And everynight before I go to sleep
I'm praying that soon you'll be here with me

Heaven, heaven oh heaven can't you help
Heaven oh heaven can't you help me
I'm down on my knees please help me

Cant fall alseep tonight
I don't know what to do
I hold my pillow but I wanna be holding you
And when close my eyes I always see your face
I know my happiness is only kiss away
And every hour here in the dark
Every beat of my lonely heart
Tells me that I need to be with you
Heaven oh heaven what can I do

Heaven, heaven oh heaven can't you help me
I'm giving my love for eternity
Heaven oh heaven can't you help me
I'm down on my knees please help me

Girl I'd give anything if you were here with me
Give anything you want and anything you need
I never thought that I could feel the way I do
But now I wanna spend the rest of my life with you
And every day that we are apart
I'm shedding this love here in my heart
And everynight before I go to sleep
I'm praying that soon you'll be here with me

Heaven, heaven oh heaven cant you help me
I looked in her eyes now shes all I see
Heaven oh heaven cant you help me
I'm down on my knees please, heaven
The first time I set my ears on this song was way back in 1999. My second year in the University. I really think (at that time) that this is the best love song ever... and I even dream of playing this song on my wedding day... he..he..he.. If you ask me now... I have a full 10 pages list
of romantic songs that I would want to play on my wedding day... Song that scores high on the list would definitely be George Michael’s careless whisper, Marc Anthony’s “My Baby You”, N’Sync’s “I do (Cherish you)”, Mariah Carey’s “Always be my baby”, and songs by Baby face, Boys II Men, Bryan Adams, Toni Tony Tone, or Earth Wind & Fire….

You can have all the song in the world to be played on your wedding day… but will there be a wedding anyway? This question always make my heart skips a beat. This year alone (up to May 2005 to be exact) I have attended 6 weddings and 4 engagements…. They are either my friends from school, university or office. When will it be my turn? Not that I don’t have the potential candidate (s), but belum sampai seru kot… (or maybe takde org nak seru!)
I used to be so scared to discuss about marriage. I want to be perfect in everything that I do. Not sure if I am capable to be a good wife and a good mother. Like it is not enough.. Everyday I can hear people around me having problems with their marriage. Let it be faithfulness issues, financial problems, problem in raising up kids, mistress, sex, you name it… every single thing can actually lead to divorce. The best (or the worst) example I can quote is my own family… you can call our family broken or unhappy… but I cannot deny the fact that my parents are not living under the same roof anymore. My family falls under this category (broken family) since I was in my second year in the University (1999). But to me, it was long before that, that my family is unhappy (we are not like any other normal family). My father was a politician when I was a kid. I can only manage see him 2 or 3 times in a month! So, what’s the difference right. He is always away on business trips, visits, or making speeches elsewhere…. Sometimes I’m convinced that my dad had forgotten that my baby sister and I ever exist! But lucky for me to have such a caring (but over-protective at times…) mother… even though she is not highly educated, but she manage to raise us in her own special way…
Ironically, the people close to me (my best friends, my ex-boyfriend, my cousin) are also facing the same problem as I am… divorce parents! ISN'T THAT IRONIC!!!!!!!!

I wonder why two people who used to love each other so much when they were younger, decide to get married and promised to love each other, for better or worse, till death do they apart, can eventually turn into someone else and hate each other so much! Love is not great after all!

Will this be a lesson to me when I am married? Will all this help improve my skills in becoming a good wife or even a good mother? Only God knows……

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