Monday, May 30, 2005

tears

sunday, 6:22 PM.....

just woke up from my evening nap...

Grab my mobile underneath my pillow… appears on the screen “1 message received”… I press the “READ” button on the keypad… I read the message:

“ time seems to slip away so fast…. 1 minute you are with me & the other you are not…. “

I broke down and cry….

season in the sun

My dear friends…

Tomorrow will be my final day working with KN. The final day of being one of the 12 members of the “most talk about” MTs in KN. The final day of being the most pretty HR staff in KN… ha…ha…ha..

As some of you are aware (I guess everybody knew), I choose to leave KN and move on with my career. I will be joining PETRONAS. So before I go, I like to apologize for any bad things that I have done, said, or if I had intentionally or unintentionally hurt any body’s feeling….

I am going to miss all of you so much. With all the sweet memories that we have created…


Bad – My partner. Guess I’ve spent most of my time in KN with you. You are the most charming man that I ever knew. Tq for taking care of me while the attachment period. Tq for tolerating my “mengada2 attitude”. Tq for waiting patiently for me during lunch (especially on Friday at KN kompleks). Tq for being so nice to me. Tq for trusting me with your Gen 2. Tq for listening to my never-ending problems…. Tq for “jumping-start” my car … Tq for everything… (Some things are better left unsaid)

Nurul - alamak… tulis nama kau pun aku dah rasa nak nangis….. you are the best. So sincere and straight forward. I shared a lot of secrets with you. Shared the same interest (shared the same guess handbag). We can spend most of our times together. I am going to miss all the night outing that we did together (especially masa cari rumah Iquan). Nanti aku takleh jadi kakak kau dah....but you still have to answer me bila aku tanye kau “BF Comel tak hari nie”. Jgn nakal2 tau…. Nanti kakak “POK”

Asiah - As the saying goes ‘don’t judge the book by its cover’. I have a total different perception on you on the first day that we met in A’famosa. But obviously I am wrong! Tq for all the rides. Kau tak berkira langsung. Certainly I will miss the Teh Halia in the morning… the miss calls… I will miss our journey to KLIA, to PCD, waiting for you at Comuter station J you will certainly be the most pretty and wonderful wife to KJ. Sorry takleh attend wedding kau… hope everything goes well on that day… sedih takleh tgk baju pengantin kau… don’t forget to forward me the pictures okey…

Diana - Tq for everything. You are very sweet. Don’t worry because God had created someone “sweet” for you as well. (usaha la cepat2… nanti melepas). Nanti kawin jgn lupa jemput aku. Kau jgn la jogging byk sgt… nanti body kau jadi mcm model video clip usher, aku jealous

Iquan - I hated you during our first meeting at A’famosa. You kept calling all the girls (including myself) kak long… geram betul aku kat kau masa tu… especially masa main susun PVC tu… but now, it turns out that you are cool. I can talk to you on almost everything. Still remember the time when aku call kau and menangis2 kat phone? Ha..ha…ha… keep that as our secret okey. Tq for everything. Iquan comel

Jay - Jaq, J-Lo, what ever they are calling you now. tq for the ABC. Tak sempat nak belanja you MC’D. nanti I balik from terengganu I belanja okey? And jay… please stop dieting. You are already pretty… kurus sgt pun tak cun! (betul tak diana?)

Ruzi - Tq for the “nasi ayam”… nasib baik kau and jay ada… tak la aku kempunan. Nanti aku belanja kau and jay pulak ye… Tq for everything friend. Nanti kau kawin jgn lupa jemput aku ye.. (kau ada bf ke? aku dah confuse)

Anis - the main thing that I remember most about you is how conscious you are about your hair and your “%$#@^&” (nurul pun sama…. ). I will be very glad to continue our English Class. Just e-mail me okey… Tq and sorry for everything…

Sara - Sara comel! … nanti takleh tgk kau buat muka comel dah…. Nanti bila kau gossip ngan nurul jgn lupa include nama aku skali ye… kau nak masuk HR tak ganti aku.. aku leh recommend kat mohan. And please don’t cry because the relation ends, smile because it happened (jgn sedih2 ye…)

Dalilah - You are the first person that I knew among MTs. I sit next to you in the bus on the way to A’famosa (if I’m not mistaken). Starting from that day, I only hear good things coming out from your mouth. You are so nice and sweet. Ingat lagi kau tumpang kan aku pagi2 ke komuter… aku cakap kete kau sgt bersih dan best… I really mean it...You are my inspiration… take care and sorry if I ever hurt your feelings

Shri - Macha… as what Iquan and bad called you… bila buat conversation dgn you, all I can hear is giggle… (but we don’t have much conversation because you selalu kat public phoneJ). nanti you kawin please don’t forget to invite me okey. Thank you for the friendship… sorry for everything.....really pray that you will recover fast.

Finally, please remember me… do keep in touch. Bila buat MT’s gathering nanti, please3X invite me okey… take care and all the best for your future undertakings. I’m going to miss all of you.

Saturday, May 28, 2005

magical nite...

I have exactly 3 working days left before joining the new organization… how do I feel right now? I am not sure… with a perfect blend of excitement, curiosity, nervousness, sadness, depression, anticipation and uncertainty, this feeling will surely drive a vulnerable women like me crazy!

Anyway, my day yesterday went as usual. With nothing to do (I am resigning in three days time remember?). I am counting seconds! Lucky for me since my dear friend NH is kind enough to let me use her Password so that I am able to access the internet (Sayang nurul). I played on-line game on Samsung web-site most of the day. I played so long that I almost throw-up! Fortunately, I beat the high score! Ha..ha…ha… some sense of satisfaction…

Had lunch with the two girls, NH and SA. MB is on leave yesterday… I missed him in a way…

Well, we girls went for lunch at Bidara, Bandar Sunway. The food was nice. Later we went to see the new Perodua car, Myvi. The car is nice and cute... but I don’t really like the interior fittings… don’t look as stylish as Gen2… (he..he..he.. What do you expect, I will get my Gen2 soon... siapa lagi nak puji if not myself right?)

Spent most of the evening with SA and NH… I went down to their work station… we chatted, and laugh... I will definitely miss this moment with them… to be separated is always hard… this is the most difficult part.

MB and I planned on watching MADAGASCAR that evening. He came to fetch me at my house… he waited for almost 15 minutes since I am still in the shower when he arrived (ye ke 15 minit?....) sorry bad. Anyway, I manage to get in the car with water still dripping from my hair (tak sempat nak kering) and with no make-up on my face. Since we are not able to book the ticket (maybe because of school holiday) we changed the plan. We went to Putrajaya instead. It was almost 7 when we reach Putrajaya. We had out dinner at a place called Taman Warisan.. a botanical garden. The place was lovely. We had Sate and Otak-Otak… later, MB took me on a tour around Putrajaya. Not that this is my first time to Putrajaya, but everytime I go to this place, my family and I only go to the dataran where the food court and Putrajaya Mosque is located. So, everything that I saw last night was amazing. I especially impressed with the design of the Palace of Justice and the PICC.

We arrived subang at around 9 pm and decided to have drinks at SS15. MB sent me home at 15 minutes past 10. I was tired but I had fun.... it was a very fine and exciting evening…. Took a quick shower and zzzzzzz…..

Friday, May 27, 2005

wedding song

NU FLAVOR

"Heaven"

First time I saw you girl,
You turn me upside down
I can't stop thinking bout you
My head is spinning round
I got to find away to get with you somehow
Girl I'm so crazy for you
You know I want you now
And everyminute of every single day
I'm dreaming of how it could be
And everynight before I go to sleep
I'm praying that soon you'll be here with me

[Chorus]
Heaven, heaven oh heaven can't you help
Heaven oh heaven can't you help me
I'm down on my knees please help me

Cant fall alseep tonight
I don't know what to do
I hold my pillow but I wanna be holding you
And when close my eyes I always see your face
I know my happiness is only kiss away
And every hour here in the dark
Every beat of my lonely heart
Tells me that I need to be with you
Heaven oh heaven what can I do

[Chorus]
Heaven, heaven oh heaven can't you help me
I'm giving my love for eternity
Heaven oh heaven can't you help me
I'm down on my knees please help me

[Instrumental]
Girl I'd give anything if you were here with me
Give anything you want and anything you need
I never thought that I could feel the way I do
But now I wanna spend the rest of my life with you
And every day that we are apart
I'm shedding this love here in my heart
And everynight before I go to sleep
I'm praying that soon you'll be here with me

[Chorus]
Heaven, heaven oh heaven cant you help me
I looked in her eyes now shes all I see
Heaven oh heaven cant you help me
I'm down on my knees please, heaven
The first time I set my ears on this song was way back in 1999. My second year in the University. I really think (at that time) that this is the best love song ever... and I even dream of playing this song on my wedding day... he..he..he.. If you ask me now... I have a full 10 pages list
of romantic songs that I would want to play on my wedding day... Song that scores high on the list would definitely be George Michael’s careless whisper, Marc Anthony’s “My Baby You”, N’Sync’s “I do (Cherish you)”, Mariah Carey’s “Always be my baby”, and songs by Baby face, Boys II Men, Bryan Adams, Toni Tony Tone, or Earth Wind & Fire….

You can have all the song in the world to be played on your wedding day… but will there be a wedding anyway? This question always make my heart skips a beat. This year alone (up to May 2005 to be exact) I have attended 6 weddings and 4 engagements…. They are either my friends from school, university or office. When will it be my turn? Not that I don’t have the potential candidate (s), but belum sampai seru kot… (or maybe takde org nak seru!)
I used to be so scared to discuss about marriage. I want to be perfect in everything that I do. Not sure if I am capable to be a good wife and a good mother. Like it is not enough.. Everyday I can hear people around me having problems with their marriage. Let it be faithfulness issues, financial problems, problem in raising up kids, mistress, sex, you name it… every single thing can actually lead to divorce. The best (or the worst) example I can quote is my own family… you can call our family broken or unhappy… but I cannot deny the fact that my parents are not living under the same roof anymore. My family falls under this category (broken family) since I was in my second year in the University (1999). But to me, it was long before that, that my family is unhappy (we are not like any other normal family). My father was a politician when I was a kid. I can only manage see him 2 or 3 times in a month! So, what’s the difference right. He is always away on business trips, visits, or making speeches elsewhere…. Sometimes I’m convinced that my dad had forgotten that my baby sister and I ever exist! But lucky for me to have such a caring (but over-protective at times…) mother… even though she is not highly educated, but she manage to raise us in her own special way…
Ironically, the people close to me (my best friends, my ex-boyfriend, my cousin) are also facing the same problem as I am… divorce parents! ISN'T THAT IRONIC!!!!!!!!

I wonder why two people who used to love each other so much when they were younger, decide to get married and promised to love each other, for better or worse, till death do they apart, can eventually turn into someone else and hate each other so much! Love is not great after all!

Will this be a lesson to me when I am married? Will all this help improve my skills in becoming a good wife or even a good mother? Only God knows……

Thursday, May 26, 2005

Holi-Holiday!

Saturday (21/05/05)

Today we are working half of the day. I always think that it is such a waste to work on Saturday. Come on!
The Sunday mood is already in everybody’s head… like any other typical Saturday, it took us (or at least me) 15 minutes to on my PC… another 15 minutes to settle down… 15 minutes to go to the pantry to get my coffee (I never ask the tea lady to bring the drinks for me to my table… kesian… rasa mcm my mom pulak L)… another 15 minutes to browse my e-mails…. Another 15 minutes to figure out what I am supposed to do… and the list goes on… By the time I can get the aura to work, it’s already 12.30pm! Gosh!!! How I hate working on Saturday….
My friends (MB & NH) planned on going for lunch together somewhere in sunway… But unfortunately I have to attend a wedding reception with my mom… I really want to “lepak” with them… but too bad! But then… by the time I reach home… something else happened… my neighbor (Indonesian) is caught by the security in Pyramid....... steeling! Great! They are facing two problems here. 1. Being caught for steeling and 2. Being an illegal Immigrant. With some sense of humanitarian instill in my heart by my parents, I start the car, and bring the parents with me to the crime scene to settle everything. With a few hours of negotiation, screaming, yelling and cursing… we manage to bring the criminal home… the criminal ( a 13 and 8 yrs old girl and 7 yrs old boy) kena hentam like hell at home… I am not sure if they are still alive since I never saw them out from their house until today.
Evening, went to SS 15 with kanda… had our dinner there. A bit tiring… and there goes my Saturday!
(by the way… Arsenal won the F.A Cup against M.U today… saw the cute face of Ljungberg… and that lights up my day)




Sunday (22/05/05)


Wesak day… planned to go to “car boot sale” with MB and NH… but after thousand of calls to NH phone and not a single answer (actually I called her 4 times J), we cancelled the plan. I sent my mom to aunty seha’s house in Shah Alam… and pick up MB at his house to have breakfast. Balik rumah, continue tido. nephew’s friends came to our house that afternoon and I have to send the boys to Sunway Pyramid as they wanted to watch “Star Wars”. While I was driving

Boy : Siapa tu (pointing at me as if I was invincible)
My Nephew : Makcik aku….
Boy : Makcik, boleh tolong kuat kan radio?
Me a.k.a Makcik : Hallo… I am not your makcik… please call me kakak!

(I mean…. come on…. They are 15 and I am 25… I can be their sister right?)

kanda called me at 3. we went to Lotus PJ for lunch… I don’t know about the price (since I am not the one who pays) but the “nasi daun pisang” certainly superb! Went home early… Had my weekly body scrub…and….zzzzz into the wonderland J


Monday (23/05/05)

final day of the public holiday… woke up at 8… with nothing to do… did my laundry… and made breakfast…“mee goreng”… I don’t think it taste nice… but my family finish it up in a blink of eye (okey… I exaggerate it a little bit…). Went for movie with my eldest and youngest sister and nene (my fav nephew). We watched a malay movie “Senario XX” (don’t laugh… I know you will think why the hell did I watch malay movie…. But hey… who else will support local industry if not us…. Local people… duh!!!) come back from the movie, I slept most of the day.. kanda called at 8. He picked me up and we went to up-town for dinner… I hate the dinner… not that the food is tasteless… but the whole thing! Maybe the way he treat me… I don’t expect anything like a princess but,… I don’t know… maybe I am comparing… the charming guy (the guy in the kuantan incident)…. Will treat me better… he will never let me be in any kind of difficulties…
maybe my friend, SA was right… kita takleh tamak… we cannot expect perfection in every thing.

But like the saying goes… “WHEN BEST IS POSSIBLE, BETTER IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH”!

I have the options right?

Friday, May 20, 2005

Love is in the air...

"You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover’s arms can only come later when you’re sure they won’t laugh if you trip" - Jonathan Carroll


Simply put, you have to be very careful in the initial stage of romance until you are absolutely sure that she/he is the one that can be with you through thick or thin... at least that’s how I interpret the meaning...

The moment I read this quotation this morning... it brings back the memory of an event organized by my company, the Treasure Hunt (4th March- 6th March 2005). It was a 3 days 2 nights event held in Kuantan and T’ganu. It was our first experience (for my friend and I) and we had fun!

Our first night was in Kuantan. That night, all of us went out to fuel up and to buy stuff (what stuff? Stuff la... you can figure out!) On our way out from the hotel... I TRIP!!!!!!! ( read: fell down like nangka busuk!) The worst thing is... I fell right in front of my enemy... she must be laughing like hell back in the hotel room.

Anyway, I was so touched (he touched my heart for a thousand times) by HIM ( I will consider if I should reveal his name ha..ha...ha...). He didn’t laugh!

While my wonderful friends SA, ND and especially NH (she is the one who nicely tell me a ghost story while waiting for me in the ladies... and that had caused me to trip!) Laugh the hell out of me... he calmly watched me put my self back together. I know that he wanted to help (I believe so) but the situation does not permit him to do so... was it painful? Hell yea! It was PAINFUL... But nak cover malu punye pasal... bila org tanye... kate tak sakit! By the time we reach the petrol station, my knee beginning to bleed!

I don’t know why, but that incident stuck in my memory (mcm tampal guna gam gajah). I know that he will never laugh at me if anything more embarrassing happen to me in the future. Simply because he cares. He is more concern of me rather than enjoying the fun. Can I consider that as love? Do I love him? Does he love me? Or just because we care for each other? I am not sure!

please don't get a wrong picture... he is not my bf [I wish he is :-)... or at least I wish to have a bf with his qulities]

*the night was lovely, the scenery was breath taking, the wind is soothing, the beach is heavenly beautiful and the memory is priceless!

Thursday, May 19, 2005

short-term memory lost!


This is the third time [as far as I can remember…] that I’ve lost the key to my room! Horrible…. The last time I have to get my sista’s BF to break the whole doorknob! My mom insisted on getting the locksmith to come [she is terrified that the RM200 door will come out together with the doorknob ;-)]… but heck! Locksmith costs five times more than buying a new doorknob….

But guess what? My adorable nephew thinks it funny to hide the keys from me for at least half an hour. Somehow he and his mother [my adorable eldest sista] find it interesting to test my memory!

What is it with my memory! I am only 24 years and 6 moths old, and I am beginning to lose my memories… Yesterday, I spend 10 minutes in the bath room just to recall whether I have washed my hair the day before. Finally I decided there is no harm in washing my hair twice! Guess I need to hire my own PA just to record my daily chores!

But lucky me… I have a very understanding family and friends. They never get tired of answering my question [even though I asked the same question 2 minutes ago ]. And they never take advantage on this.. [ye ke? If they do… I really could not recall]

Guess all this lead to the objective as to why I write this for my entry today:

1) I don’t have anything interesting to write today
2) I forgotten (again…. ) to bring the NH’s calculator that I’ve borrowed last week! Even though she has reminded me for the hundred times….



*My case is still in initial stage… nothing like Drew Barrymore in the movie “20 first Date”…. I am in the midst of rectifying it… he..he..he…

beginning

finally... my own blog, my own space and my own entry... was introduced to this world of blogging by my wonderful [but weird at times ;-)] best buddy... NH. we've been reading a lot of blogspot including famous ones like makandeh!

I always love to write, but not sure of what. So I guess I'll just write anything that I find interesting to share with my friends and my kanda [read: my bf]. I'll be leaving my current organization soon to join a new [and definately bigger] organization.... somewhere in t'ganu. So this blog is specially dedicated to my friends whom I will miss dearly... MB, NH, and SA.... and not forgetting kanda :-)

I'm talking rubbish... don't know what to write... since I don't have any actually!

But I have to start somewhere, sometime right? so here it goes... my first entry!
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