Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Lonely

A few of my friends around me is currently pregnant. The girl who’s cubicle is next to mine is just 4 days apart from me. My best friend is also 14 weeks along. So we can’t help but to exchange notes with each other about our pregnancies. What I want to share here is my feeling of loneliness. My friends always told me how their mom will come over to their house at weekends to cook their favorite food, to be with them and sharing tips and petua. I will get stories like,”my mom masakkan rendang last weekend”, or “rasa teringin nak makan masak lemak la, nak suruh my mom masak la hujung minggu ni” or “my mom is coming down to KL this weekend to be with me”. And I will be so… hmmmmm… I dunno how to describe my feeling. Sad maybe, or lonely.

I know I have my husband. But it is not the same. I’m sure you would agree with me. Sometimes I have questions to ask about pregnancy like can I drink air kelapa? What is the food that helps with my heart burn? Why my feet are swelling?

Do you know who I turn to to get the answers? GOOGLE! I learnt a lot about pregnancy from the internet and pregnancy books. I feel so sad thinking about it.

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t blame it on my mom. She is really old and is really sick right now. The last thing I want to do is to burden her with my situation. Plus this is going to be her 6th grandchild. So there is no excitement there.

I just hope that my sisters are grateful that my mom was healthy when they were pregnant. My mom gets to cook them nice food during their pregnancy, take care of them during confinement and look after their baby while they go to work.

I on the other hand have to go thru this pregnancy alone (with my hubby by my side of course), and is currently looking for confinement nanny to take care of me and my baby after delivery. And I was craving for “rendang kerang” the other day and until today I can’t find them at any restaurant L

On the lighter note, I thank Allah for blessing me with easy pregnancy. The baby is behaving very well so far, and I have no craving for weird things. So my hubby doesn’t have to go out at the night just to find that something that I really2 want to eat. I really hope Allah will bless me and my baby for a longer time, or even forever. Coz I’m alone, I don’t think I can face more challenges or dugaan.

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