Blast from the Past!

Went to bank to settle all my dept. almost 60% of my salary is committed towards debt each month. Car installment, phone bill, utilities, rent, money for my mom (I have to give her extra this month since she has to pay a visit to the dentist), insurance, credit cards, and of course certain portion for saving. I can’t help but to wonder if I can afford should I decided on a house soon. Hhmmmm.. Maybe if I change to a smaller car, or maybe if I got a transfer to KL (so that I can cut some on rent and traveling expenses) or maybe when I’m married, I can share the expenses with my other half.

Left office at 6.30pm. Got home and decided to cook maggi assam laksa with tim and yan. All this while, I only had curry whenever I’m having maggi, and I never realized that assam laksa is equally tasty..

Watch the last set match between Federer and Gonzalez. Personally I think that Gonzalez played a good match given his 10th ranking against the top-ranked player. Federer no doubt played his best match almost the whole of his life. Federer won, 7-6 (7-2), 6-4, 6-4.

Had a long shower, and while applying lotion on my body, my mobile rings. It was an unfamiliar number.

Me : Hello
Him : Hi saliza. Tengah buat apa tu?
Me : May I know whose asking
Him : Tak kenal ke
Me : I wouldn’t ask if I know who you are
*I hate this. I hate people who don’t know the etiquette of phone calls*
Him : It’s Nik nazri. Still remember me?

How can I forget? I had a crush on him way back in 1998 when we were doing our pre-commerce course in Uni. Hahaha… I made a complete fool of myself back then. I spend 80% of my day talking about him, and think about him while another 20% spend dreaming about him in my sleep. We went separate ways after 6 months. I stayed in the same campus for diploma and my degree, and him.. I’m not sure. It’s a blast from the past. I feel quite uncomfortable and I dunno what to say/ask him. What do you expect; it’s been 8 years since our last conversation. He is now working with Malaysia Airport Berhad. Anyway, I’m not interested. He is just something that I had in the past. I have someone else in my life at the moment, and a future to think of.

Since it is still early, I decided to treat my self for a movie. It’s called “The Holiday” starring Cameron D, Jude Law, Jack Black, and the women who played titanic, gosh I forgot her name. Anyway, it is another romantic comedy movie. But the story line was interesting tho. I love it! Jude Law was charming in the movie. I decided to watch it again tonight =) ohh.. I just love romance..

GeNTinG

=) Spent my weekend at genting... City of Entertainment... *smiling* arghhh... I especially love cold, breezy, and place with lots and lots of lights, music, and happy people. Instantly it will bring the holiday mood in you *still smiling*

I took the Wednesday off. I went to MidValley that morning. It is interesting to go to shopping complex on a working day. It feels like the whole shopping complex were closed to public especially for you.. hehehe.. Bought a new pair of jeans from Miss Selfridge, 2 new tops from Zara, foundation and a few other not-so-important-to-mention things.

Had dinner with bf at burger king and later did some groceries for my mom at Carrefour. Bump into Nurul and her hubby. Got home early that night.

Bf came to fetch me at home the next morning at around 10am. Had our b’fast at Ravi in Bangsar. Did my treading afterwards, but the lady who did my eyebrows were sucks at it. =( Get my hair blow-dried at a near-by saloon, and off we go to Genting.

Quite a number of my friends were in this trip. Sarah, kadak, erin, syahril, farih, leez, nazril, along, aidil, and a few others. We all came here with one purpose in mind, the Boyz 2 Men concert… yey! I was really excited, and so do my bf (not so much b’coz he is the die hard fan of the band, but b’coz this is his first time attending a concert.. hehe.. cute!) The concert was really great. It was amazing how they manage to get the crowd alive even though it was only the three of them performing on the stage. No backups, no dancers, no bands. Their evergreen hits such as Water runs dry, 4 seasons of loneliness, end of the road, kept most of the audience entertained and on their foot. I was sad tho since I did not manage to get my hand on one of the roses that they gave to audience while performing one of their no 1 hit, “’I’ll make love to you”. Only those who sit in the VIP seats (right in front of the stage got it =(
Above all, it was a really fun an relaxing weekend for me..

SUCKS

People always say that it is not easy to engage in a long distance relationship. It has to endure the test of time, and distance. But I try to work it out. Lots of sacrifices made. I have to face the entire journey from kerteh back to KL every single weekend just to make up all the weekdays that I missed spending with the person that I love. 4 hours journey x 2 x 4weeks in a month x 52 weeks in a month. You do the math. To top this is the money that I spend while driving back/ car pooling. Money spent on phone bills just to make sure that he is not lonely, and just to make sure that we are kept updated about what is happening to each other. Sure there are always cheaper alternatives to resort to. Like the convenience of e-mail. But all I get from e-mail is how are you? Have you taken your b’fast? What are you having for lunch? I love you, and I miss you. I need more! I need to know what is happening to him. Like all the job interviews he is attending, the friend that he is having a disagreement with, planning that he is making for his future, the projects that he is currently doing in the office, the new phone he is planning on buying, year end bonus that he got (not that I’m going to talk him into buying me new things). I’m really depressed =( I’m having a second thought. Is it him? Or is it just me. He is not comfortable with sharing all this intimate information with me. I’m sick of reading all the books on relationship just to make sure that this relationship will work out. It just doesn’t. Given the distance between him and me, all that is left for us is communication and sharing. But I’m not getting any of it.

I went to work for about 2 hours. I’m not feeling well. Soar throat, runny nose, and fever. Went to see the doctor and I got Medical Leave. Stayed at home the whole day. I don’t have anything in the cabinet that can be cooked easily and fast. So I just had 2 slices of bread and jem.

I went for tennis practice in the evening. In fact, it is a qualifying match for the coming Sports Carnival. My performance sucks! The girl that is playing against me was really good. I’m disappointed in myself. I’m sucks.

Finished my match at 7.30. Got home and found out that my toe is bleeding. It hurts. I can barely stand properly. Let alone perform my prayer properly. I’m having difficulties to sleep. It sucks!

New Place.. Again!

16/02/07 @ 5:30pm

Received a call from my boss in KL this evening. Here how the conversation goes:

Her : You know that Ibrahim is retiring this year right? So I was thinking of putting Thava in his place. That leaves thava’s place vacant in Segamat. Would you like to be transferred?

Me : Errr… Actually I like my work here. But it’s almost 2 years now. And work seems to be routine and repeating. I like to venture into something new. But I dunno if Im ready for a transfer.

Her : Thava’s job right now requires a lot of traveling. You’ll be overlooking a total of 11 regional offices. But I thing you have the quality. You have the people quality and you are assertive.

Me : You know what is best for the department. If you think me moving to segamat would be the best. Then to segamat it is….

[oh dear!]

To LoVe is tO LeT gO

Have you ever heard of the saying that goes something like this; “to love is to let go”. Let’s just say that I never bought it. If you are willing to let someone go, it simply means that you don’t love him/her. I’m sure you will hold on tight to something/someone that you really love, come what may, right? The phrase just doesn’t make sense to me. But it was only before. Before I found the man that I truly love.

But now, I’ve found the love of my life. I love him so much. Sometimes I cry my self to sleep thinking how much I love him. I never know that it hurts really bad to love someone so deep. Every night I’m wondering if I have done enough for him. Did he know how much I am in love with him? Did I ever hurt his feeling? Have I done enough to make him happy? Is there anything else that other women in the world did for their man that I’m not doing for him? Am I beautiful enough for him? I’d do anything just to make him happy.

But again, I didn’t know if he is meant for me. Maybe he is my destiny. Maybe God brings him to me because we are meant to be together. Or maybe it’s the other way around. I’m just hoping and praying really hard, Dear Allah, please let it be him. I don’t have the guts to tell him this, but I really want to spend the rest of my life with him. I know that I can make him happy. I know I’ll be happy with him.

If you love someone, set him free. If he comes back to you, he is yours… forever!

Harus selalu kau tahu
Ku mencinta mu di sepanjang waktu ku
Harus selalu kau tahu
Semua abadi untuk selamanya

Kerana ku yakin
Cinta dalam hatiku
Hanya milikmu sampai akhir hidupku
Kerana ku yakin
Disetiap hembus nafasku
Hanya dirimu satu yang selalu ku rindu

Resolution

Friday, 29 December 2006

Im at my mom’s place. This is the last week in 2006. Oh dear.. 2006 has been though on me. I’m hoping, real hard, that 2007 will bring me all the good things. Can’t help but to wonder what I’ll be doing, and where will I be this very same time next year. 30th December 2007. Maybe Im happily married, maybe started my own business, maybe reading novel or watching tv in the comfort of my own house, with the person that I love, or maybe just the same me. Same hairstyle, same status, same negative habits, same old, same old… Read my horoscope on the magazine and also in the news paper. In a glance, grass is greener on 2007 for scorpions. *finger cross

My baby is taking the Friday off. Im happy =) we start the day with roti canai and tarik. Later, from sogo to sg wang and finally O-utama, we call the day off at 10.30. phew…. But again… to be able to spend the day with him… simply delighting. Enjoyed every second of it.

Saddam Hussein served his punishment today. I got depressed watching it on the news =(

Its Raya Haji eve. Muslims all around the world will be celebrating it 2morow (maybe a day earlier in some other parts in the world). Planned to perform prayer with my baby in Putrajaya Mosque. That is if we got up early, considering it is already 1.53am, and Im wide awake in my room typing this entry.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Part of the fun of celebrating New Year is in making resolution. Making it is easy, but the tricky part is in the execution. I started to have my own new year’s resolution when I was in the university. Simple resolutions such as making sure that I pass all my papers, to have bf (hey, it’s my resolution… so I can decide on any, even though it may sound stupid to most of you), to loose a few pounds, etc. Let’s just say that I manage to execute most of it.

So for this New Year, I decided on a few realistic, attainable, and measurable resolutions:

To do:

1) Spend more time reading
2) Spend certain portion of my money for charity
3) To own a house.. my own house
4) To spend more time visiting my dad
5) To improve my self spiritually
6) To make sure that I discipline myself in performing prayer
7) Eat healthily
8) Eat less chocolate (oh dear! This is going to be the toughest)
9) And if it is not too much for me to ask… to improve my personal status (financially, friendship, or even get married.. maybe)

InsyaAllah…

Not to do:

1) Waste money on shoes
2) Shopping without planning
3) Buy things that I don’t actually need
4) Have negative perception, attitude, etc

Flat tyre

Today is my first day working in the new year. I woke up early as I want to start the new year in every positive way as possible. I left the engine of my car running for few minutes (to wartm up the engine) since I've left it unused for 5 days during the public holiday. When I'm all set to leave for work, I noticed that one of my tyre is flat. Argh... the first obstacle in this very new year. Since "positive thinking" is listed as one of my new-years resolution, I try to solve it calmly. The problem is:

1) The tyre is TOTALLY flat
2) My car is blocking my housemates car, so I have no choice but to move it to another place
3) Im not sure if I can still drive it to another spot fearing that it will cause damage to the rim
4) I dunno how to change the tyre to a new one
5) Am not sure if I have a spare tyre. Even if I do have one, I dunno where it is
6) Same issue with the car-jack. Am not sure if I have one, and Im not sure in which part of the car it's been stored.
7) I dunno what to do first, giving this situation. i.e flat tyre.

So I took the phone and dialled my baby. No answer. I dialled Mazran. I told him everything. He asked me to release the hand break and to push the car slowly instead of driving it (hhhmmm... wonder why I did not think of this in the first place). And he said that he will help me change the tyre after work. =) told you it pays to stay positive.. hehe

Left for work with ita... at office, everyone shows how concern they are with my problem. One of my staff offered to attend to it. At 1 pm, everything was settled. They went to my house, jacked the car, took the flat tyre to the shop, had it patched, and fixed it back to my car. Phew!

Bought him a swiss roll cake as a token of appreciation. Pay him back the RM5 for the cost of patching (yes, its just RM5). And I made a vow to help people in need (within my capacity), so that in future, should I be in need again, a helping hand will be extended to me.